I Intensely Dislike Report Cards

I am in report card hell.

Thirteen report cards with three meaty paragraphs on each equals 39 paragraphs. Ick!

I am SO procrastinating right now.

Sigh. Back to work.

A Day at the Beach. There’s Two Sides to Every Story.

We never go to the beach, but yesterday was gorgeous here. It was the perfect day for the beach. A cloudless sky, about 85 degrees, a little breezy. It was Memorial Day weekend. This is what people DO. We felt guilty, so we doused ourselves in sunscreen and went.

We packed up three kids (our two and my neice), five chairs, six towels, fifteen drinks, two large sandwiches, seven little bags of snacks, fifty-two beach toys and one umbrella. (This is why we never go to the beach.) I haven’t been to the beach since I had kids and been able to actually sit. I have to say that bringing the third kid is the answer to that problem. I got to sit and watch three children have a ball running up and down that beach playing in the sand and the waves. They played and played and played. Happily. (Why don’t we ever go to the beach?) Until three hours later when they decided that they were ready to go home. So we packed up the earlier mentioned list of items, had one temper tantrum about who was carrying what, had one meltdown that the walkway was too hot for bare feet, had two arguments about who was showering first (AHA! This is why we never go to the beach), showered off said children and went home. We now have sand from one end of the house to the other and all over the van. We have two buckets of shells that will go untouched until they just miraculously disappear. (hmm…I wonder how that happens?) And we have little tiny pieces of shell bits all over the shower floor. (Other reasons why we never go to the beach)

I guess I should be grateful to live so close to such a beautiful beach, but we take it for granted. I feel guilty again. I think when we move we will love to go to the beach. We will be grateful we have it to visit.

It’s Graduation Time

I can’t believe it is the end of the school year already. On Monday, I went to see my nephew, Daniel, graduate from eighth grade. He was born the year we were married, making him almost fifteen. Yikes! He is a totally different person than he was at Trent’s age. I watched him go through the graduation with mixed emotions. It was moving to see him growing up and yet I am excited for him, too. My poor sister was understandably so emotional.

I only see Home Daniel and it was so interesting to see him as School Daniel. They are two different people, you know. And I really like both of them. Watching him with his friends really made me realize that this kid has a whole other life at school that we grown ups have no concept of. And then I got to see him around girls. THAT was interesting. You remember eighth grade. That’s the one where everyone is at all different stages and some are blossoming already and some are so NOT blossoming yet. It’s a little awkward to say the least. Daniel is definitely popular.

So now he is headed to high school next year. I think back to what high school was like and I think how excited he must be. I am excited for him, but he doesn’t know…high school is hard. In academic lessons, yes….but in life lessons is more what I am thinking. I wouldn’t want to do it all over again and it is way different now than it used to be. Recently I took my class on a field trip to the planetarium at my old high school. Okay, they have surveillance cameras at my old high school now. THAT was a reality check. High school must be even harder now. Daniel is a good kid. I think he’ll do okay.

On Friday, I went to Trent’s preschool graduation. Technically he is not really leaving preschool since he will have another year of it next year. But he is leaving this school. They wore caps and gowns and got “diplomas” and this time I was the emotional one. In fact, I was the ONLY mother that wept at this ceremony, much to my dismay. I was really surprised.

Trent has really grown up this year in so many ways. I realized that, like Daniel, he has a life at school that I would like to think that I know a lot about. The truth is that I don’t live it with him, so I don’t actually know anything but what I am told. I know he has loved school this year and I think the tears came from the gratefulness that he had such wonderful teachers after last year’s horror story. I am so thankful. But time will pass quickly and before I know it he will be in eighth grade, too. A totally different person than he is now.

I have been given a reminder to cherish every moment. And I will.

Trentism

Trent’s justification for chewing gum when he’s been told no:

”But Mom, I need to chew gum so I can extercise my teeth!”

What do you know about the Hindenerg?

For the last project of the year, Allison’s class was asked to read a book on a major historical event in history and do an oral report in front of the class. This was an interesting project. For starters, figuring out which tragedy to read about was a challenge. There really were not that many to choose from and apparently everyone had to choose something different.

I am always amazed at the tools today’s kids have to use for a project like this. Allison started by Googling “tragedies in history” and trying to decide. Then she decided she had better access the online card catalog from our school library to see what books were available from there. There was everything from 9/11, the tsunami, and The Cold War to the Titanic, the Great Depression, the San Francisco earthquake, and the Great Chicago fire. She settled on the Hindenberg disaster.

Allison read the book and was really worked up about how to present it. She was telling me about how “so and so did their report by pretending to be a newscaster” and she wanted to do something creative without copying anyone else. I suggested that she turn her report into a game and she decided that sounded good to her. So she makes this giant gameboard out of a shower curtain and prints all these photos off the computer to put on it, and makes up these great questions about the Hindenberg to ask. She typed up all the information and put it onto cards and then typed up all the answer choices. She planned to ask the questions and then share the information about the correct answer. By this point I am pretty amazed and proud of all the hard work that she had put into this report. She did it all by herself! And I am shocked at what I do not know about this event! For instance, did you know that the Hindenberg was a blimp that was a hotel? People actually booked trips on it like on an airplane. The rooms were actually inside the blimp itself. I did not know this! I also did not know that it had anything to do with Germany. Nor did I realize how big it really was.

That’s the thing about teaching and parenting, I guess. You learn something new everyday. Well, when you are a parent and teacher at your child’s school, you also get the added bonus of being a part of something your child is doing that you would not be able to if you did not work there. I got to watch Allison present her report to her class and she did not even mind that I was there! Let me just say that I was so impressed with her poise and her confidence. I was so proud!

All I can think is “how lucky am I?”

For future reference

Note to self: The next time you are getting ready to go out and you discover that your husband is wearing the exact same colored outfit that you had planned to wear and you stand in the closet trying on 14 other things that are clearly just not as good as what you had planned because you don’t want to look like the black shirt twins, when he comes in and asks three times if you want him to change, SAY YES.

Advice to men everywhere: The next time you are getting ready to go out and you discover that your wife planned to wear the exact same colored outfit that you actually have on your body and she stands in the closet trying on 14 other things because she doesn’t want to look like the black shirt twins, when she comes out of the closet wearing something that she clearly does not find as desirable as what she had planned because she is already making you late, TELL HER SHE LOOKS NICE.

Trust me.

Someone’s coming to look!

We actually had someone call to see our house today! It has been well over a month since we even had a call, much less an actual person in the house. We are not having much luck.

We put our house up for sale in January after making a huge decision. Back in October, Brett and I decided that it was time to try life somewhere else, somewhere else being North Carolina. We have lived our entire lives in Florida and thought maybe a change of scenery without too bitter of a winter might be good. We are tired of the exhausting routine of two working parents and trying to keep up with the “keep up with the Joneses” mentality of where we live, so we went to visit North Carolina in November and came back so excited! The lifestyle is so different from ours and seems to really fit our values. The cost of living is so much less than here and the amount of house you can get for the money is astounding. We would have my very best friend like a mile away, too! So we went back again in December and decided to build. We picked a lot and chose all of the things we wanted in the house and they laid the slab within a couple of weeks.

Things progressed pretty quickly with that house and by mid March we went back to walk through. Oh my gosh, we were so excited, but so worried that our house in Florida hadn’t sold. Everything was on contingency and if our house didn’t sell then we couldn’t close. The house is a two story and is 1000 square feet more than what we have here for half the price! I wouldn’t even have to work to afford it. The thought of being a stay-at-home mom after 16 years of teaching was really appealing!

Well, the closing date came and went and still not even a single bite on our house here. So we’ve lost the NC house to a back up buyer, and though we can start the whole process over again, we are disappointed and frustrated. And the market here is terrible. There is just no one looking to buy.

So we will cross our fingers today and say a prayer that maybe THIS person will have some interest! I’ll keep you posted….

Trentism

Trent comes in and reeks of grape.

Me: What do I smell?

Trent: I just put on chapter stick. (a.k.a. Chapstick)

Me: It smells good, but was it Allison’s? (suspiciously)

Trent: No. Boys can wear lipstick too you know, Mom.

Me: Where are you going now?

Trent: To ride the extercise bike (a.k.a. the exercise bike) cause I need some breath.

Me – OW!

I had a tough time getting up yesterday, because I had a long day on Thursday since we had Author’s Night at school. This is the night where all of my first graders come to school with their parents/grandparents/friends and read aloud the book that he/she wrote and published this year. Teaching writing is one of my favorite things and helping first graders write is a hoot. The things they like to write about really amuse me. First of all, their scope of what an actual problem is is pretty limited, like things being lost or broken, or going to a scary place. We had stories like The Missing Lizard, The Missing Ladybug, The Lost Snake and The Big Bad Ghost. So cute. And the spelling is even cuter.

So anyway, Author’s Night is great, but I was at school for about 12 hours on Thursday. Of course, by the time Friday morning rolled around I was tired, but after a “big beer” at Buffalo Wild Wings Friday night I was exhausted.

So I am laying on the couch watching Dateline and I am so relieved that it is Brett’s turn to tuck in Trent. (My turn to tuck in Allison. We alternate every night.) All of a sudden Trent runs in screaming and crying, “Mom, Rufus is peeing on MY bed!” Rufus is our cat. He is the most lovable lap kitty you have ever met and he is all we have left after putting our other cat, Tucker, to sleep in March. So I jump up and run into his room and Brett is holding the cat up off of the bed and he is literally peeing everywhere. Eeeewww! It’s going all over the quilt, the blanket, the sheet, the stuffed animals, Brett’s clothes and it smells horrible. Brett takes the cat and carries him to the front door and tosses him out, and I scoop up the bedclothes, etc. and head for the laundry room. Just as I am going down the hall, I hear this awful gagging sound and Trent starts THROWING UP! The smell grossed him out so bad that he’s throwing up! And in comes Brett and he STEPS in the vomit and HE starts gagging! A pretty picture, isn’t it? Apparently they were just reading stories and the cat just squatted there on the bed!

So needless to say we have piles of laundry…….but here’s the thing: What do we do about this “cat peeing on the bed” thing? I mean, we love Rufus to pieces and I would hate to get rid of him, but we can’t have a cat peeing on beds! Gross!

We are in a dilemma with this one. Anyone have advice?

Date Night again

We don’t usually go out two weekends in a row, but we got a bonus this week. Saturday was date night and we had tickets to see the comedian, Kathy Griffin, in concert. If you know anything about her, she has a gift for ragging on celebrities, saying the things that lots of people are thinking but might not say, and sprinkling all of it liberally with foul language. She was awesome!

If you read People magazine or watch Entertainment Tonight or Extra, you will certainly understand how she comes up with her stuff. She had commentary on Tom/Kat/Suri and ridiculous baby names, scientology, John Travolta, Star Jones, George Bush, Oprah Winfrey, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, Ryan Seacrest and American Idol, Teri Hatcher, the Heather Locklear/Richie Sambora/Denise Richards love triangle…..and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. It was hilarious.

Put it this way, the show was 90 minutes and it felt like 10 and when it was over I wished it wasn’t. It was so much fun to laugh until my cheeks hurt! Trust me, if you like her kind of humor, you should definitely go if she comes your way. Worth every penny.