Conversations with Kids

Trent: Dad! Dad! (from the shower)

Me: Whaat?

Trent: I need Dad!

Me: Dad’s busy. Whatcha need? *appearing in doorway* I can help.

Trent: Mom, what is this called? *grabs testicles*

Me: Dad!! Come quick! Trent has a question for you!

Dad: What? *annoyed*

Trent: Dad, what is this? *grabs testicles and squeezes them*

Dad: Oh….um, those? Those are your testicles. You call them your balls. *laughing*

Trent: Oh, your balls. Okay. I know! Like basketballs and tennis balls and golf balls…..

Dad: Yeah, just like that….. *smiling*

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Mom: Did you finish your homework?

Allison: Yes, I just had history. I had to look up all the answers to these questions on the internet.

Mom: Good. Boy, you got that done fast!

Allison: Yeah, it’s so easy. You just type it in to google and you can find it.

Mom: Man, you are lucky you have the computer to help you. When I was growing up there were not many computers and no internet.

Allison: NO INTERNET?? How did you find anything out?

Mom: We went to the library and looked in the card catalog for a book or we looked in the encyclopedia.

Allison: Wow. THAT must have sucked…….

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Dad: Wow, the Christmas lights in our neighborhood are pretty weak this year. There must be a lot of Scrooges this year.

Mom: Either that or a lot of Jewish people.

Allison: My friend gets to celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas because her mom is Jewish and her dad is Christian.

Trent: Allison, what are you?

Allison: Christian.

Trent: Mom, what are you?

Mom: Christian.

Trent: Dad, what are you?

Dad: Christian.

Allison: What are you, Trent?

Trent: *pauses* I am Jewish.

Allison: Well, if you are Jewish then you celebrate Hanukkah. You light the menorah and you get one present a day for eight days. That’s it. So are you Jewish?

*long pause*

Trent: I think I am Christmas!