The Worst Present Ever

Ann Marie over at A Mama’s Rant is having a contest for the Worst Present Ever. Here is my entry. If you have a present that you think could beat hers (used nail clippers), then visit her and find out how to enter.

When you are a teacher, when Christmas rolls around you can be the recipient of any number of various and sundry holiday gifts. For many years I was employed at a very affluent private school teaching first grade, and when Christmas came you pretty much hit the jackpot. Not that I think teacher gifts are necessary, but truthfully, they are so appreciated. And these people? They see teacher gifts as a “gratuity” of sorts, and give generously just as they would tip any other service profession like a hairdresser, nail tech, mailman, etc. Plus most of them just have money to burn. The gifts might run anywhere from hundred dollar gift cards to the mall, or restaurants, expensive bottles of wine or champagne, jewelry and many times just plain old cash.

Last year, there was a sweet little boy from an extremely wealthy family in my class. We’ll call him Jonathan. He was precious, but had several learning issues that required much patience and nurturing on my part to help him through. His mother, however, was not nearly as sweet. The year had begun on the wrong foot for her because the kindergarten teacher had placed him in my class and she had had her heart set on a different first grade teacher for her son. No matter how much the K teacher tried to explain that her son would fit best with my teaching style, this woman could not accept it. And I was the one who paid for it all year, even though I had done absolutely nothing wrong to this woman or her son. She wanted what she wanted, and that was that.

So the last day before the holiday break arrives and the kids bustle into school, arms laden with gifts for their teachers. After the children leave for the day I began to check out the pile when I find one medium sized rectangular box that hinted of a box of chocolates. Yum. It was from Jonathan. I unwrapped the package and removed the lid from the box and there was indeed candy inside.

But about eight of them were missing and the box had then been rewrapped in saran wrap, recovered, wrapped and sent to school! Clearly this mom’s way of showing me, yet again how she felt about me.

Yes, it was a little insulting, but I really knew that deep down this gift had nothing to do with me. It had everything to do with this woman and how she felt inside. Not about how she felt about me. And so I shrugged it off, but we laugh about that gift as probably the worst gift ever to this day.

You’re probably going to tell me to quit my bitching

Over the last couple of months I have shamelessly bragged commented several times about how much I am enjoying being a stay at home mom while my kids are at school. I have been seriously taking advantage of the freedom I have acquired doing all of the things that I used to make fun of stay at home moms for being able to do. Must be NICE to be able to go get a pedicure and do your grocery shopping all. by. yourself. It is.

All of that came screeching to a halt this week when, in addition to the two days of tutoring I do during the week, I accepted six days in a row of substitute teaching. What the hell was I thinking? No gym? No errands all. by. myself? Damn! I have been spoiled. I actually got depressed the day before I was supposed to sub, knowing that I would not have a day to myself for about ten days!

I thought, when I decided to make myself available for subbing, that this would be so easy. I have been a teacher for sixteen years. I have always loved teaching. Outside of all the bullshit of dealing with the parents, report cards, conferences, administration, paperwork, etc. being with the kids was so much fun. I loved coming up with fun ways for them to learn something and seeing the lightbulb go on! And this is the same school that my kids attend, and also the school that I taught at for the last thirteen years. I mean, how hard can it be? I know subbing can be a challenge, but many, many of these kids know who I am and what kind of teacher I am. They know what I expect. They know my own kids.

Here’s what I have discovered: the truth is….none of those things matter very much. To kids. The truth is, very simply, you are NOT the regular teacher and so they absolutely MUST test you. It’s in their blood. They can’t help it. They simply cannot resist. And when you are not the regular teacher it is not all that much fun. There is not that much opportunity to come up with fun ways to learn.

One thing is for sure, I have a whole new respect for specialty teachers. A month ago I subbed for the art teacher for a week. For two days this week, I subbed for the librarian. She is AMAZING. She does all the librarian stuff AND teaches a full load of classes. Having always taught at grade level, I forgot how much energy it takes to switch from kindergarten to sixth grade in a matter of minutes. It’s been a good challenge for me, even if it is not that much fun. Even though I am not teaching a class full time, I can still push myself to grow as a teacher. I’d just rather not do it six days in a row.

I have loved getting hugs from my former students. I have loved seeing my own kids at school. I have loved seeing my teacher friends. All good things.

And these past two days, I subbed for the Spanish teacher. All of the spanish videos and music left me with a serious hankering for mexican food. I joked to Brett that I may have to stop at Taco Bell on my way home and was treated to a dinner of homemade fajitas and margaritas! Bonus!

Monday and Tuesday I am in fourth grade and we are taking a field trip.

After that I am free. It’ll just be me. All. by. Myself.

Ah, yes! I think remember what that is like…. ;>)

Magic

Someone once said that a teacher’s favorite months are June, July and August. I won’t lie, they are certainly a welcome respite for a first grade teacher after a school year filled with all the hard work that goes into trying to make learning fun and meaningful for six year olds.

As much as I love what I do, I was relishing the thought of having time just for myself and for my family within reach, which is a very rare occurrence between the months of September and May. Like the duties of a mother, a teacher’s job is never done, even once June rolls around. And as I tried to clean up the classroom I know as my second home, I wondered how I would ever finish all the items on the checklist buried somewhere beneath the plan book, number two pencils, and faculty meeting minutes littering my desk.

As if the mere list were not enough, I also had the added obstacle of two young children bright with the excitement of a summer full of possibilities who had absolutely no interest or desire to spend any more time at school when the sun’s warm rays beckoned them to be outdoors. Unfortunately they have been born to a workaholic teacher for a mom who lives by the “work before play” philosophy. A veritable curse to say the least.

Being four and ten, they are too young to stay home alone and had come to school with me to “help.” Although I can usually count on my ten year old to lend a truly helpful hand, I know from experience that “help” from the four year old is sometimes actually exactly the opposite of that. I was already making a little mental list of things for him to “help” me with.

However, as quickly as I was packing away the pattern blocks and construction paper, they were equally as quickly being unpacked by the four year old as entertainment for the only children left in this room. I sighed as I realized this was a losing battle and set about accomplishing what I could. Pattern blocks and paper alone don’t hold a summertime child’s attention very long though and soon the sound of a normal brother and sister’s bickering began.

Allison being ten and Trent, four, there are the usual complaints. Allison complains that Trent is into her stuff. Trent complains that Allison won’t share. Then they both complain that they are bored. It is not often that they play together, usually if forced, or if a third party is involved, though I ply them with requests to enjoy each other almost daily. I decided that I was not the entertainment director for the day and they would have to figure it out for themselves.

A little while passed and suddenly it was quiet. Eerily quiet. I looked up from the student files I was sorting to see the two of them huddled on the floor. Together. Between them was the rather large box of Legos that I keep for rainy day free time. Bright pieces of colorful plastic squares and rectangles were strewn on the floor around them as tiny masterpieces were forming before my eyes. Little fingers joined with bigger ones to create, imagine, cooperate….it was magical.

I have never been able to appreciate Legos the way that my students do. For children who learn best by using manipulatives they are a charm. But that day as I watched a box of little bricks build a relationship between the world of my big kid and the world of my little kid, I knew I would never see those blocks the same way again.

The magic of the Legos had afforded me the luxury of a little peace, but the joy of seeing my children doing something together….that was the best trick I had ever seen.

I Intensely Dislike Report Cards

I am in report card hell.

Thirteen report cards with three meaty paragraphs on each equals 39 paragraphs. Ick!

I am SO procrastinating right now.

Sigh. Back to work.

Me – OW!

I had a tough time getting up yesterday, because I had a long day on Thursday since we had Author’s Night at school. This is the night where all of my first graders come to school with their parents/grandparents/friends and read aloud the book that he/she wrote and published this year. Teaching writing is one of my favorite things and helping first graders write is a hoot. The things they like to write about really amuse me. First of all, their scope of what an actual problem is is pretty limited, like things being lost or broken, or going to a scary place. We had stories like The Missing Lizard, The Missing Ladybug, The Lost Snake and The Big Bad Ghost. So cute. And the spelling is even cuter.

So anyway, Author’s Night is great, but I was at school for about 12 hours on Thursday. Of course, by the time Friday morning rolled around I was tired, but after a “big beer” at Buffalo Wild Wings Friday night I was exhausted.

So I am laying on the couch watching Dateline and I am so relieved that it is Brett’s turn to tuck in Trent. (My turn to tuck in Allison. We alternate every night.) All of a sudden Trent runs in screaming and crying, “Mom, Rufus is peeing on MY bed!” Rufus is our cat. He is the most lovable lap kitty you have ever met and he is all we have left after putting our other cat, Tucker, to sleep in March. So I jump up and run into his room and Brett is holding the cat up off of the bed and he is literally peeing everywhere. Eeeewww! It’s going all over the quilt, the blanket, the sheet, the stuffed animals, Brett’s clothes and it smells horrible. Brett takes the cat and carries him to the front door and tosses him out, and I scoop up the bedclothes, etc. and head for the laundry room. Just as I am going down the hall, I hear this awful gagging sound and Trent starts THROWING UP! The smell grossed him out so bad that he’s throwing up! And in comes Brett and he STEPS in the vomit and HE starts gagging! A pretty picture, isn’t it? Apparently they were just reading stories and the cat just squatted there on the bed!

So needless to say we have piles of laundry…….but here’s the thing: What do we do about this “cat peeing on the bed” thing? I mean, we love Rufus to pieces and I would hate to get rid of him, but we can’t have a cat peeing on beds! Gross!

We are in a dilemma with this one. Anyone have advice?

I feel good

Ever have one of those days where you just feel good? I know you know what I am talking about. Things just go right for whatever reason and you just feel good. That was today for me.

First of all it’s Friday. How can you go wrong there? It was also Teacher Appreciation day at our school, which honestly did not play a huge part in the good feeling, although they did have a very nice luncheon for us, without students, which was a nice treat.

But I did something this week that was a little out of character for me. I spoke up. I am ashamed to admit that I tend to be the kind of person who can moan and groan with the best of them, but is generally a little unsure about actually communicating the actual problem to the actual party involved, or making suggestions for that matter. Well, this week I did it. I suggested something to a very important person and today they ACTUALLY followed my suggestion. To the letter. How cool is that? And I know it sounds wierd, but the best part was that no one else but me knew that it was my idea. My thoughts were valued and I was thanked privately for it. I made a difference. YAY!

We also had a meeting today about a student in my class who is dealing with some pretty significant learning issues. This is one precious boy and this meeting included nine individuals involved in his education and was planned to make some decisions on whether he should be retained in first grade or not. I was recommending retention and let me tell you, next to doing report cards, this is one of the LEAST favorite things a teacher has to do. Honestly, I was worried about it. I don’t know how it happened, but it went so well and I left that meeting on cloud nine! Very unexpected!

I left school for a bit to go to Trent’s preschool for a Mother’s Day Tea. I love this! There is always a little performance and these kids are so cute. In this performance I was amazed to see the class making music by playing hand bells! I have always been amazed by hand bells with grown ups playing them, but to see four year olds play was so awesome! Each child had a different colored bell and they would ring their bell at just the right time to play the notes to a song. It was so neat to see the teamwork. I was impressed and Trent was so proud. Then they sang the cutest little song about Mommies and needless to say there was hardly a dry eye in the room. You know moms, they just eat that stuff up. This was a really special part of the day.

And as if all of that wasn’t enough, the weather was perfect, and I had a good hair day. I know it sounds silly, but the hair thing doesn’t happen very often in my world. ;>)

So there you have it. It feels good to feel good.

It can’t be Sunday already

Somehow Sunday always gets here sooner than I think it will. And no matter how much I have accomplished over the weekend, I can never get it all done. As in many households where both parents work, at our house if it doesn’t get done on the weekend, then it won’t get done until the next weekend. We are just too tired.

So around 3:00 I start to panic. And get very grumpy. Because I know bedtime will come and I will not have gotten it all done. It’s like this every single Sunday, except in June, July and August, and by now I should know better. I have a better grip on most of it tonight, but my school totebag is still sitting there staring at me, completely stuffed with work, and all I feel like doing is watching Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy.

We did have a pretty good weekend though. We spent most of yesterday cleaning, in the hope that we may have a call from anyone wanting to see the house this week. (Wish we could sell it!) Cleaning always feels good and productive. Allison and I spent some time working on what to get the teachers for Teacher Appreciation Week this week. We wanted to get enough useful little things for seven teachers for all five days and still stay within our budget. Luckily we hit the jackpot Michael’s and managed to round up some great items. It was a fun project to do together and we made a good team.

And last night was date night. Brett and I met my college roommate in St. Petersburg for dinner at this great spot downtown called Bella Brava. It was very yummy and so much fun to visit with friends we don’t get to see that often.

Today, after another round of the snuggle/tickle routine, we treated the kids to breakfast at Crack Barrow (as Trent calls it), a.k.a. Cracker Barrel, and bowling. This was really fun! Bowling is getting to be something that our family really enjoys doing together now that Trent is bigger and gets how to do it. We also washed the van, went grocery shopping and did three loads of laundry. Also a pretty productive day.

Oh well. I guess we didn’t do too badly! Only 18 days of school left! Yay!

English Lesson

For eight years I was the third grade English and writing teacher. While today I do not claim to be error free in my writings, during that time (yes, this was after college, I am embarrassed to say) I acquired enough knowledge about rules in English that it absolutely makes me CRAZY when I see a blatant mistake.

Take today for example: we were driving down the road and there was a huge sign that says CONDO’S FOR SALE. Arrrghh! Can’t tell you how many times I have seen this kind of mistake, but to have it plastered on a GIGANTIC banner across the front of a building is just downright embarrassing for them, and they probably don’t even know it.

Okay folks, you may have spotted the error here, but if you did not, let me point it out for you. There should be no apostrophe in condos. Condos is a plural word. Apostrophes used this way are meant to show ownership. The condos do not own anything here. There are just more than one of them. This is almost as bad as when people sign cards : Love, The Smith’s.

No apostrophe needed. Only when a noun needs to show ownership or if the word is a contraction.

End rant. I feel better now.